Slaying the male ego: An Update of my Summer Events

Greetings my submissives:
Many of you have been enquiring on my whereabouts during the summer months; specifically relating to my lack of blog posts during this time.

This past summer 2010 has been an extremely exciting and eventful time for me. It was a time filled with new adventures and new beginnings. With the approach of autumn comes a slower pace and with it time for self-reflection. It is in these moments of introspection that I turn to my blog for a creative outlet. As before, I will now have time to write new posts more frequently.

One of my adventures this summer involved something that I have rarely done ….. I very briefly dated another Dominant. Knowing very little about Dominant male mentality, I was quite taken by surprise at the vulgar and base nature of the untrained male ego.

This Dom Male was laughable in his attempts at male bravado. His behaviours and exaggerated posturing was comical. I have never seen anything like it. I have zero patience for this type of childish male behaviour and therefore I decided to abruptly end the courtship.

Let me first preface by saying that both of us entered the partnership with the mutual agreement that this would not be a D/s relationship. Instead we would be equals.

His male ego, when we were out in social situations was unable to exhibit any type of self-control. Anyone and everyone he would encounter would be greeted with hostility. The more that he tried to exert his male prowess the less respect I had for him. It made him seem weaker in my eyes. Some Dommes are truly capable of level-headed Domination of their subs. This man’s Domme behaviour, in my opinion, stems from a place of weakness and vulnerability. He enjoys putting others down in order to make himself feel strong, because I venture to guess that inside he feels afraid and insignificant.

He was not a real Domme at heart, but rather a scared little boy in a man’s body. The typical women that he dates are not well-trained subs. They were timid girls with low self-esteem.

Though the relationship was destined to fail from the onset, it was a beneficial experience for me from a learning perspective. I hunger for knowledge; especially when it relates to human behaviour and sexual psychology.

I have an abundance of respect for my well-trained and disciplined submissives. My submissives have a strong sense of self-worth, are intelligent, goal orientated and possess a great strength of character. Their characters are built by the training that they receive from me.

A soldier that is disciplined and harshly trained for battle is looked up to in our society for their ability to serve and follow commands. Soldiers are not insecure and they are not weak. In my opinion “real” male submissives. (Not a man experimenting with submission as a way to spice up his sex life) A real male submissive to me is exactly like a well-trained soldier. His life, his daily decisions…what he wears, when he eats, when he sleeps and all his activities of the day are governed by me. This is the ideal arrangement that I aspire to achieve.

I am practical and know that financial/career obligations during working hours take precedence. But I would enjoy to be in as close of a 24/7 relationship as I can.

I have been working on my list of duties for my future 24/7 sub. Perhaps I might even decide to later publish that list here in a future blog post. This list would be a morning till night account of the tasks my sub would perform for me….. from bathing me in the morning to changing my clothes and massaging my body with essential oils every night before bed and all the other daily activities in between.

After all, one can become quite tired and in need of a good massage after a long day of slaying the male ego. My imagination soars at all the exciting possibilities.

Until next time my devoted slaves.

~ Madison

Responsible BDSM: My Definition

Responsible BDSM must contain the following qualities: Be between Consensual Adults, give mutual enjoyment, contain safety measures, involve discussions before every scene, and not be permanently scaring.

The above mentioned list is of my own creation. Each Domme and sub should have their own list in their minds of what should and should not take place.

Every relationship is different and every situation needs to be re-evaluated.

This now is Madison Moore’s Personal Definition of Responsible BDSM.

Consensual Adults

This is an absolute must. If the activity is not consensual it then becomes abuse/torture. The classic example I use is CBT (Cock and Ball Torture). If the CBT is consensual then there will be mutual enjoyment for both D/s. If a Domme was to perform CBT on a man whose only fetish is Tickle Torture then the CBT would be abuse because it is not consensual.

Consensual also implies that both Domme and sub remain sober (no alcohol/no drugs). It is impossible for a sub to give their consent if he/she is under the influence of a mind altering substance. It is also impossible for a Domme to respect the responsible limits of BDSM when intoxicated. I do realise that there is slight room for deviation from this rule if the BDSM is done within a committed relationship and the couple have explored BDSM before. An example would be 1-2 drinks between a husband and wife but not to the point of intoxication.

I use the term Consensual ‘Adults’ because after all it is not only illegal but also unethical to participate in any BDSM activity (even an activity of a non sexual nature) with anyone under the age of legal consent. In most countries the age of consent is anywhere between 18 – 21.

The word ‘Adult’ also implies ‘Human Adult’, which means, responsible BDSM does NOT include animals of any kind.

Mutual enjoyment

BDSM after is about enjoyment; both physical and psychological. Discussions before each scene are imperative in order to maintain mutual enjoyment. I take the time to not only discuss which particular activities my sub is interested in but I also endeavour to discover their psychological needs during a scene.

For example; a common activity that my subs and I enjoy is forced feminization/cross dressing. By asking psychological questions I will determine if the sub is interested in cross dressing as a form of humiliation or if they enjoy the process of cross dressing and want to look and act pretty.

The activity of cross dressing takes on different meanings depending on the sub’s emotional needs.

Safety measures in place

Safe words are a must. They should be negotiated well before a scene is to take place. My most commonly used safe words are: Red and Yellow. Exactly like a traffic light, red means stop and yellow means slow down. It is important to choose a random word for this purpose. “Apple, July, Tea, ex.” are good examples. I find it also a good role of thumb to keep the safe word between 1 – 2 syllables. This is obvious. If the sub is seriously in pain and is being injured, the injury is only going to continue until the sub catches his breath to say the long winded safe word.

Discussions before the scene about the subs physical state are also essential. I always ask my subs the following questions before an initial scene.

Has the sub done the activity before? This will give me an idea of how soft to start out at the beginning to give the sub an opportunity to discover his/her personal limits.

Does the sub have any medical conditions I should know about? Heart conditions, diabetes, epilepsy, all of these conditions will dictate which activities we can do.

Does the sub take any regular medications?

Does the sub have any past or present injuries or surgeries? This is very important. I specifically want to know about injuries to the knees and back. This will come into play on whether the sub is put on their knees, in a small cage or other positions I have in mind.

Basic human considerations when doing a long scene

• Dehydration
• Washroom breaks
• Does the sub take medications during the day

Food can be omitted during a day. But only if the sub does not suffer from diabetes, hyperglycaemia or is not on any medications where food must be ingested with each dose.

No permanent scars

Responsibility is in the hands of the Domme and I take this very seriously. Personally I do not believe in leaving permanent marks. There will always be temporary markings; a sore and red bottom, superficial scratch marks, and the light tracing of where the flogger was used. But I don’t leave scars. I know I am unusual in my thinking. I have seen many photos of permanent scaring. I realise this is done often.

We all have our personal limits, and Dommes are no exception. For me my Hard Limits include scarification, needle play, branding, burning and any form of knife play. Scat is also on my hard limit list, though it does not have relevance in the context of scaring.

Sadly I have heard of many incidences of novices being physically scared due to lack of knowledge and poor communication between D/s.

BDSM can be a wonderful world full of potential enjoyment and pleasure. It is my hope and objective with this blog to educate readers on responsible play, and in turn to increase their levels of enjoyment and fetish release.

Question of the Day for male subs:

“How are you aiding Mistress Madison Moore to promote her blog and eventually find a literary agent?”

Email me your response to the Question of the Day email address: yesmistressmadison@yahoo.com

Until next time my lovely pets, I wish you a very pleasant and kinky week.

~ Mistress Madison xo

(This blog can also be found on wordpress in a more reader friendly format)
http://obayonline.wordpress.com/

A RESUME FOR A CAT

Ms. Terra Trinity
Email: ms_karma_kitten@yahoo.com
____________________________________________
OBJECTIVE:

A position as a feline ambassador, where I can utilize my expertise in feline communication and community relations.

CAREER HISTORY:

• Feline Ambassador (March 2003 - Present)
• Daily implementation of hygiene protocol
• Independent utilization of automatic nourishment receptacle
• Management of all schedules and itinerary of fellow co-worker
• Security and surveillance of rodent intruders
• Supervision of lavatory use
• Camouflage and concealment

SKILLS & TRAINING:

• Spheroid Reconnaissance and Retrieval Certificate
• Co-habitation Training
• Doctorate in REM Nocturnal Sleep Management

PERSONAL INTERESTS:

• Manual defacement of broadloom

LANGUAGES:

• English, Feline

REFERENCES:

• Upon Request

  

(Hope that put a smile on your face! Goes to prove even a Dominatrix has a sense of humor)

~ Madison

The Ethics of Money Slavery

I have an internal dilemma that I am trying to work through. I am hoping that sharing my thoughts in print will give this situation some clarity. The issue revolves around money. More specifically my current lack of it. And it has got me thinking about the ethics of money slavery.

This emerging phenomenon within the BDSM community has many names: Money Slavery, Financial Slavery, Human ATM's, Money Piggies, Financial Humiliation, Financial Domination...and probably many more terms that I might be forgetting.

The concept is simple, the financial slaves are used for their money by a needy Princess/Mistress. Some will go so far as to incorporate consensual blackmail. But is this practice a legitimate form of BDSM or is it just abuse?

I am grappling with it right now. The idea of marketing my need for money and essentially begging for it is repugnant to me. Yet, my disgust is overshadowed by my unpaid bills and my empty wallet.

True BDSM to me involves more of a physiological component. Both D/s do not need to be in the same room together. I for one excel at maintaining online relationships with my subs. I ask myself ..."Can there be room for financial compensation; compensation for my time?"

The internet is littered with copious amounts of humiliation websites. Men from all over the world gladly will pay for the opportunity to be humiliated via email, web video or they simply enjoy reading the Mistress's humiliation posts.

My dream is to one day have my own website, and yes it would be a paid-membership based site. To me that is a legitimate business where I am being paid for my services. Financial slavery on the other hand feels like begging.

Here is my dilemma. I first need money in order to pay a web designer to create my website in order to make money. So that brings me to the "Sub Question of the Day" As a matter of fact, this day I have 3 questions for my subs.
My 3 questions for my subs today are...

1. Is money slavery a viable means of income for a Mistress, similar to a website capitalizing on member subscription humiliation?
2. Is there an emotional benefit for the sub to financially reward his online Mistress?
3. Have you had a Financial Mistress before?

Email me your response to the Question of the Day email address:   yesmistressmadison@yahoo.com
All replies will be read and appreciated.
Until we meet again my loyal servants

~ Mistress Madison
(Stay tuned, in my next blog post I will reveal to you what Responsible BDSM means to me)

My Weird 'little' Fetish

The wonderful thing about fetishes is that they can be developed at any time throughout our lives. It is exciting in adulthood to discover something new that we find thrilling and exciting. And so was the case with my weird ‘little’ fetish.


The fetish I am referring to is Small Dick Humiliation (SDH). Oh, how I love it! Sometimes I suspect I enjoy it more than the guy I am with.

It was only this year that this new fetish was introduced to me. I had heard about it before, but had never practiced it. My ex-boyfriend confessed to me one night his interests and asked me timidly if I would humiliate him and laugh at his tiny little baby dick. He was 4.5 inches when erect.

From the first scene we did, it was obvious to me that I was really good at it. Playfully mocking and teasing him became a huge thrill for me. Even now as I write this, just thinking about SDH is getting me wet.

I often ask my subs why they like it. I have asked myself the same question. There are two aspects of it that I enjoy. Firstly, the humiliation feeds my sadistic personality. Degrading a ‘man’, and I use that term loosely, is exciting. Rejecting a man’s size is such a taboo. Women are taught to lie about a small dick to spare the man’s feelings. Secondly, SDH is empowering to me as a Domme.

My list of sexual interests and fetishes are quite long. I have posted the extensive list under the 'my interests' page if you are ever so inclined to read it. Out of all of the items on that list there are a few that stand out as my favorites....small dick humiliation, cuckold, forced bi and pegging/fisting of my male subs.

Out of all my favourites, small dick humiliation is the most difficult one to explain to a potential boyfriend. If fact, for me, it is impossible to explain it unless the man already had that fetish before meeting me.

I can just imagine how that conversation would go. I'd be dating a man in a vanilla relationship for a couple of months and inevitably the union would progress and become physical. At some point most men will ask the woman they are with if she likes his size. Let’s say the man is a bit above average, around 6 inches. I cannot very well open up to him and say..."Actually, I secretly wish you were only 3 inches, because I would really enjoy mocking you, pointing and laughing at how small you are. Then I would like to sleep with another man in front of you and tell you how much bigger he is”.

I love small dick humiliation and I miss it very much. I think about it daily. Before now my last SDH was in late February, before my ex-boyfriend and I broke up. My hope while attending fetish munches is to network and to find a boyfriend of my age group that shares my fantasies.

That all changed two weeks ago when I had the opportunity to enjoy it again with a man that was ridiculously small. You cannot imagine my surprise and delight to discover, once I got out my ruler to measure him, that this guy was an entire 1 inch smaller than my ex. His baby dick, at 3.5 inches erect, broke my personal record and is the smallest that I have ever seen. I have affectionately nicknamed this guy Peanut.

I think I am actually going through SDH withdrawal ha-ha. It is something I need to do often, but sadly cannot because I am currently single.

It is wonderful how SDH is not only extremely humiliating for the male, but it is also emasculating. There is nothing in this world that I hate more than the male ego.

The male ego is selfish, irresponsible, disrespectful, needy and responsible for acts of stupidity, sexual aggression and violence.

It is my strong opinion that every man should be under strict orgasm control, to curb the evil influences of their male egos.

My search continues for the perfect SDH boyfriend. I have my magnifying glass out and I am ready. Line up boys, and prepare for inspection!

~ Madison

Facebook Relationship Stats

Tonight I have decided to spend the evening alone. Perhaps I will periodically check Facebook, Twitter and all the other social networking sites out there that make us feel like we are connected to other human beings; when in reality we are still sitting at home alone.


Originally I had planned on attending a social munch tonight. This event promised to be completely different from the last. The previous munch was an educational evening with discussions and member participation.
The munch tonight is more of a casual gathering. The venue is a local club. The munch group, I am told, blends in with the rest of the crowd. The objective for the evening is to socialize and get to know other people in the scene.

I will probably attend the next one which is to be held in June. But tonight I cannot bring myself to leave the house. Tonight I just feel like being alone. My date tonight will be a glass of white wine and a Blu-Ray disc.
Though it is true that I am currently single and am half-heartedly looking for a relationship, lately the idea of dating is exhausting to me. So many first dates, and very few that I find intellectually interesting and very little chemistry.

I have been on Facebook for a while, yet despite what was happening in my personal life, I have never changed my relationship status. It has always remained listed as ‘single’. I find it very comical to see some Facebook members that change their relationship status as often as the weather. My opinion is to wait until there is some type of certainty before announcing the relationship.

I have taken the time to poll my close friends, and there is a huge difference between male and female opinion on Facebook relationship status changes.

My male friends tell me they are hesitant to announce a relationship because it is something they don’t normally announce anyway. Most men I have seen leave the ‘relationship’ field blank.
Stereotypical women on the other hand are very quick to want to announce a new partnership, and change their status with great vigour.
It is not the relationship status per se that bothers me. It is the humiliating and humbling act of admitting defeat and changing the status back to ‘single’ once the relationship is over. I have no illusions when starting a new relationship. I am not pessimistic, I am just realistic. I don’t see every new boyfriend as a potential life-long partner. I see the relationship as what it is; two people getting to know each other. After all, if two single people meet and decide to date then the truth is that 100% of their past relationships have failed. That is the truth.

Relationships were much easier back in high school before social networking sites. If you started dating someone in high school every one of your friends would know about it from day one. And if by chance you happened to eventually break-up, well everyone would know about that too.
It would be very strange to apply the Facebook rules of etiquette to the high school scenario. On Facebook a couple is prone to wait, let’s say for a month or so, before announcing their union. This would never work in a real life social setting.

Imagine a boy and a girl dating in high school. The boy would be asking for some serious physical injury if he suggested the following....”Let’s date for one or two months but not tell anyone. By all means you can be one of my friends during school, but I will continue to sleep with you behind closed doors. And if anyone at school asks, I will tell them I am still single”.

I will play devil’s advocate here and ask: why is Facebook any different. If you are in a relationship, why then would you hide it from your friends and still tell the world you are single while sleeping with the girl/boy you are with?

Perhaps Facebook should add an additional choice: ‘currently dating’ or ‘seeing someone’. Would that make things easier?

Funny enough, I have actually heard of relationships ending because of constant fights over the controversial Facebook relationship status. I find that incredibly amusing!

Will I ever change my relationship status? I guess we will wait and see.

I welcome your comments.

~ Madison

Mother's Day

Aw Mother’s Day. The holiday conjures up images of spring flowers, sunshine and family gatherings. This year is no different. Today I will be venturing out for our annual Mother’s Day dinner with the family.
I have always wondered how others in the BDSM scene relate to their families. Especially those that live the lifestyle 24/7. How ‘outed’ are most kinksters to their families?

My relationship with my mother is an unusual one. We are extremely close. In fact I would even venture to say that my mother is my best friend; as cheesy as that may be. I am very open and forthright with her regarding my life. She is wonderfully open-minded and understanding.

My mother is a psychologist! It was very interesting to say the least to grow up with a psychologist for a mother. By profession, they have a way of getting patients to reveal their souls against their wills.

Growing up, I was the typical antisocial misanthropic teenager. I was an angry and bitter Goth girl. I detested being at home and spent a lot of time out with my friends. Any time that I did spend at home was spent locked up in my bedroom.

I recall one childhood memory with my mother. I was 16-years-old. I had spent the better part of that weekend locked in my room listening to music; only venturing out for food and the occasional washroom break. There was a knock on my door. It was my mother wanting to talk. I rudely ordered her to leave me alone. But she was not budging. I decided to appease her and let her in, but in no way was I in the mood to talk.

Initially the conversation was very one-sided. She was very sweet and loving in her concern for me. Somehow, as she always does, at some point during our talk she worked her psychologist magic on me. The next minute I knew I was telling her all.

She did this to me every time! No matter how resolved I was to not say a word, in the end she always got what she wanted. It drove me crazy!

Now in adulthood there really is nothing I can say to her that would shock her. Throughout her training I am sure she has heard it all.

I would even guess that within the realm of BDSM, fetishes and unusual sexual perversions my mother probably has studied and knows more about it than most of us.

It is unfortunate that she discarded all of her psychology text books from university. I continue to have this insatiable thirst for knowledge.

It is my opinion that we must always strive to keep on learning and improving ourselves, regardless of our interests. Therefore I continue my journey to uncover the origins of sexual fetishes.

~ Madison